I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the fattest people in the world.

We roll up to this house that's sort of eh, not bad. First of all, there's a flagpole. My bf already is planning to hang lingerie or something and I'm already googling flagpole removal companies (hey my friend in conn might have the number xoxo!!) Inside, the dad is still getting dressed, son is coloring and fat little pudgy baby is watching Blue Clues in the master bedroom. There's also a rat, which they call "dog" running around. The house is fine, nothing special, except of course the ever so classic hot pink and baby blue matching bathrooms (WHAT IS IT ABOUT THAT STYLE!!!)The house doesn't take long to go through, hot tub outside, 3beds, 2ba, full basement, death notice... WHAT? By the treadmill hidden on a gym locker is the picture above. Ok #1... that's horrible. Talk about obsessed with getting fit. #2 your house is on sale, obviously people will see it and of course assholes like us will take pictures and post it online. On our way back up the stairs I couldn't even look at her without cracking up.

Peeping Tom Comes to Dinner

It's always that one house that you love in the best neighborhood that's hanging on the most dangerous corner in town right? We found a delightful little ranch with everything we could have wanted, except the main road running alongside. Inside, it's the bedrooms that face the main road. If it were the den or something I'm pretty sure I could deal with it, but don't need a creeper coming up to my bedroom at night and bumpin' in the night to my dreams.

Hide and Go Seek

And we're back! Another round of house hunting in the mix here. We were in this really adorable house. It was built around the Civil War, and not updated since then. One of the bedrooms had a single bed almost hanging out of the doorway with a precious and scary looking doll chillin on the bed. It felt like a house from Nickelodeons "Are You Afraid of the Dark" with creepy storage bins in the walls and stuff. We even found a Maccabi Game gym bag, right next to a Bible excerpt/Irish Catholic prayer, somethin' funky was going on. ANYWAY... we go down to the basement and there are toys everywhere. It was all fine, but there in the open area is a little red chair... hey little buddy, what you hidin under there? OH... the sewer drain. I don't want to play musical chairs and end up with a butt plug. thanks, I'll pass.